Monday, April 26, 2010

Last Hurrah in Cleveland

Friday afternoon, a couple of Pie's friends came home from school with him. I had met the boy before, but not his girlfriend. They're both really nice kids & I enjoyed having them over. Sadly, they had to wait on the porch while Pie completed chores he'd left undone. I also caught him taking down all pics of J and me together. I told him that if he was ashamed to admit that we're a couple, he can visit with his friends elsewhere. I am not having my house de-gayed and I told him that if his friends aren't willing to accept him for who he is, lesbian mom & all, then they aren't worthy of him. First of all, it shouldn't matter who aa person loves. Second of all, it's his mom, not him. He put the pics back up & his friends came in & ended up hanging out until 10 at night, mostly with us parental types. They seemed to have no issue whatever with our orientation, although the boy & I had a somewhat awkward exchange as he untangled what Pie had told him and what he saw. I was doing laundry & he took out the trash (which Pie was supposed to do) and then chatted with me from the top of the basement steps. He said, "So, do you live with [Pie]'s mom now?" I said, "Uh, yeah. I've lived here longer than he has." He said, "Oh, that's cool. So it was just that other woman who was visiting? Did she and her son go home?" Apparently, Pie had told him that I was visiting, along with my friend Layla & her son, last time he was over. Turns out Pie was afraid his friends would drop him if they found out he has 2 moms. Maybe in his dad's community, but I think they're more open-minded around here. I explained that J & I have been together since Pie was 6 and the kids didn't run screaming from the house, so I think he's okay.

The girl especially seemed interested in talking with me, coming into the kitchen and chatting while I washed dishes, saying she needed to be around another girl. Later, Pie told me that from his observation, most parents interact very little with their kids' friends. I said, "That sounds like a hint" and left the living room, with the friends protesting. They said, "But your stepmom's fun! We want her to interact with us!" They ended up leaving him alone in the living room (where he was mostly ignoring them & texting a girl he's interested in) and coming into the kitchen again. I took them to the school for awhile to study and shortly after I picked them back up, J and Boot arrived. Boot was noticably awkward with Pie's friends, but was on his best behavior and wasn't saying all the outrageous things he usually does. J fed them and got out a cookie-decorating kit, so I sat at the kitchen table with the kids & decorated cookies. Our boys both seemed to think it was the weirdest thing ever, but our guests were completely absorbed by it & our conversation & the girl said, "I like this house! It's fun here." It was cool for me because the kids were talking to me about their views on religion and asking questions.

In the morning, I had a spa appointment. J had gotten me an Aveda gift card for Christmas & since it was my last weekend to live in Cleveland, I booked a half-day. I got to sit & drink some of their splendid tea before the massage therapist came to get me. I got my feet washed, then had a Caribbean body treatment-exfoliation, mud, shower, massage. This was followed by a facial and foot rub, then a manicure. I really liked both of the women who treated me, got into some cool discussions of religion & spirituality. As I was starting my manicure, J came in for her Caribbean body treatment (I'd gotten her a gift card for her birthday) and so after I was done, I went & hung out with the new Elizabeth Berg novel on a couch outside the bookstore. The sky started spitting at me & it got colder, so I retreated inside for a latte. J arrived just as I was sitting down & we relaxed with our coffee for a bit before going to pick up Boot from the house. Pie was spending the day with his crush, so we took Boot out for dinner at Chili's, then we all poked around the mall. I got some work clothes. I cannot find dress pants that look decent on me, so I'm glad spring is here & summer's coming...gives me more time to find pants I can stand. If only every day were jeans day! Boot was back to his usual inappropriate self in part, but he also showed great thought-full-ness. He is hoping to get a wrestling scholarship to a school that offers an intelligence major (as in FBI/CIA) and a law enforcement minor. He will go through ROTC & enter the military as an officer. I am pretty much completely against his joining the military, but have resigned myself to that probability and am now just trying to be supportive.

Yesterday was my last Sunday at my current church, although I continue as Director of Faith Formation to the end of this week and will be doing a lot of loose end tying, as well as going to lunch with my pastor tomorrow. This time next week will find me back in Dayton & working full-time as a pastor. Pretty amazing. I'm trying not to panic about getting everything ready by Friday and trying not to be anxious about whether I'll do a good job in my new position. I think the church and the position are a great fit, though, really. My official title will be Associate Pastor for Faith Formation and Family Life. I'm quite excited to meet all my parishioners and get going on this new life. I worry that it will take time for J to find a job down there, but I am trusting God and taking each step as it is shown to me. I also worry because Pie doesn't want to leave his friends. I have no doubt that he will find cool friends down there, too, but I know how he feels. I also worry about my present youth group getting to do cool things. I hope they find a fabulous new person for my position...and quickly! I hate to think of the start I've made on getting youth programming rolling again just fizzling out.

The youth class is joining the adult class this month to watch "Jesus Camp" and discuss it. It's a good movie, really makes you think. The point of the class is getting beyond us & them mentality. I hung out with that class, then went to worship and gave my last children's message there. I got hugs from kids & adults alike. It was hard not to cry, excited though I am about my new job. They've been a wonderful congregation. After coffee hour, I cleaned out my office, put my key in my box and walked out. Felt really odd.

I spent a little while relaxing with magazines & poking around online, then it was time to take Boot back home. We drove through some serious downpouring rain almost all the way to Pennsylvania, then the sky lightened just in time for us to visit the cemetery without getting soaked. We put flowers on her parents' & brothers' graves and talked about planting tulip bulbs next fall. When we left, Boot had us drive by his friend's house as well as the house he hopes to move into with another friend next December when he turns 18. It's weird to think of Boot living on his own soon, especially while he's still in high school, but I can understand why he'd rather have that responsibility than live with his father and take care of his grandma & the house. We held hands most of the way home, which was lovely. Neither of us is at all looking forward to the upcoming separation & who knows how long it will be. When we got home, I talked to my ma on the phone while J made chicken with a delicious Thai coconut & lemongrass sauce and rice stick noodles for dinner. We watched junk t.v. (the Kirstie Alley show & the Gene Simmons show, which we actually found rather sweet) and then went to bed.